How Exciting!!!

Well i finally hit the 49.5kg mark this morn and i felt so proud!!!! But it went down hill a bit after that. I was was feeling really off all day all i wanted to do was vommit!!! Gross it felt like morning sickness all over again and NO i am not pregnant, so it was not how i planned on feeling when i went under the 50kg mark, i still managed to do my cardio this morn as i was not too bad until after that i thought i was hungry and when i has breaky i went down hill even more managed to keep it down though! Tonight i am feeling nauseated and very bloated in the tummy, I have not really felt hungry all day and that is so not like me i do not like this feeling much as it feels like my body is not working properly, i have still eaten all my meals and snacks etc but feel awfully bloated so will be interesting to see what my body does in the morn on the scales.

Chloe has been havong really bad nights it is so exhausting!! The poor little darlin though she has this dermatitis tyoe thing al over her and it is driving her crazy!!! We can not get into the specialist until the 10 of september how frustrating!!! We have tried so many creams and lotions and potions its not funny we are thinking it maybe food elated but the specialist does not want us to eliminate anything until she has seen her so just bathing her in pinetarsal and latering her in qv balm and giving her antihistamines!!

Anyway i will write again on the weekend, wish me luck for the morn it always makes me nervous weigh day!!! LOL It will be interesting!!!

Chelle

Craving Food and More Food!!!

Well, what a week it has been!!! I went wedding dress shopping last saturday and found my dress of my dreams!! Imust admit its not something i thought i would have picked but i love it!!! Thay are doing a few alterations to it to really suit me and what i want!!! So i am hoping the alterations will come up ok!! I had the actual stylist and designer fit me it was such a good day my sister Tracy came with me. On the saturday i only tried on 2 dresses because we spent so much time fiddling around with the one i am getting so on Tuesday my mum and I went back up to try on a few more to make sure i had made the right decision and what would you know 6 dresses later i chose the one i was getting already!! LOL

On the sunday just gone we were meant to get a puppy for Chloe a little silky terrior crossed with a chauouer ( not sure on spelling) she was so cute!!! Anyway a rot wheeler rolled on her and she died it is just so sad!!!! I was so excited for Chloe and I as she seems to really love animals and this little puppy just looked like it would suit her!! I had a little cry but Ryan said we will look for another one and that we probably were not meant to get that one!! Still very sad though!!!

Last weekend i could have had a free meal if i wanted to but i chose not to as i really did not feel like anything in particular, so i thought i would wait for another 2 weeks before i had my free meal!!
But it is a different story this weekend i am craving sweet things something awful, i got to work today and i work at a pharmacy and we have bags of jelly beans glaring at me say eat me eat me, well the ones on the shelf are easy to resist as they are not open but the girls always have an open packet in the drawer for them to snack on up intil now it has not been a problem until 8.30am this morn and i scoffed down 8 without even thinking!!! I was even telling myself that i was going to have a free meal this weekend as well as next week just to stop my cravings, but i know that would not have worked it would have made it worse as i would have felt like failure and probably went on a binge!!! But I did say STOP to myself and got a pen and paper out and wrote down mu affirmations and said them over and over and rang Ryan and told him how i was feeling!!!! By this stage it was 9.30am and i was due to have morning tea at 10am so we decided to just think my next meal is only half an hour away and to frink heaps of water until then!!! And what do you know it worked!!! I made it through the morning without having anymore jelly beans!!!
Then lunch time came and I was starving again i could not get lunch made quick enough!!! I was like a bear with a sore head!! I ended up having a little extra protein as i was sooo hungry, again i had to realy talk to myself to not eat anymore than my allocated meal but i won and made it through!! Now i am going to win again tonight i am not craving as bad tonight though!!
My weight was 50.5kgs this morn so i have lost 500grams for the week which i think is pretty good.

I have just finished week 5 of my program and have 1 more week until i get an updated program and that cannot come soon enough i am getting a little bored with the current one!! So i amexcited about that!!!

Wedding plans are slowly coming together i am going to organise engagment pary invites tomorrow and get them sent out this week, i am staring to stress a little about it all, but i have to keep telling myself that it will not help only make me have a melt down!!!!

Anyway i am off to have a cup of herbal tea and my fat serve for the day almond paste and whole almonds! YUMMY
Talk again soon


"The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking."
Robert H. Schuller

Chelle

A Good Kick Up the BUTT is what you need sometimes

Well the title says it all, i will not go into detail but i am sure the 2 people that gave me this know who they are!!! LOL
I just want to say thank you and now i do realise that i have to be more independent and take control of myself!!!
At the moment i am working on my affirmation and so far so good, not something I want to share yet though until i see how i am at the end of this blitz!!
Kristin has eliminated a couple of things out of my diet as i have come to a bit of a stand still, but i wonder if that has a thing or two to do with my attitude lately, very negative and just being totaly consumed by the scales!! Not a good way to be as I have been making that my soul focus in a way, but these are all things to work on!!! It just gets frustrating when you are doing everything right and exercising really hard and the scales stay the same, but also tom has not come yet it has been 6 weeks and no I am not pregnant i have done two tests to just make sure!! We are definently not trying for another till next year, so a combination of all these things would be adding to the stand still.
I am still in two minds about having my free meal this weekend as i am a little worried about a couple of things, loosing control and having a binge and secondly if i just have a normal free meal will it put me back aswell as the last coup;e of weeks i have had a couple of slip ups, so not sure???

I am really excited about Saturday as my sister and i going to look for wedding dresses in Rocky i really think it will do me good to focus on other things and put my mind off the scales and weight for a bit!! I have picked out a few dresses in mags , but who knows what will look good on me, but so exciting!!!

My goals for the rest of the week are to be more positive and say and write my affirmation a few at least once a day and to exercise with my whole heart in it and to enjoy life and love myself and nuture myself and just think of nice things!!

I had a bit of a melt down at work today i had a big cry due to a few things, work is a bit stressful at the moment and it just got to me and that does not normaly happen and also i ahve been missing my Dad so much lately, i am really teffified in a way of my wedding day as he will not be there to walk me down the asile and to say a beautiful speach like he has done for my other 3 sisters, it just got on top of me and i had a little howl!! The girls were shocked as i normaly am not lke this!! LOL the poor things they did not know what to do!!
But my goodness a cry makes you feel so much better, its nearly like going for a big run and letting everything go, think i may have another one tonight!! Sometimes i think i have not dealt with dad dieing but i suppose it will be like this forever to a certain degree!!

But anyway i am going to leave on a happy note and go and eat my yummy vege omlette that has heaps and heaps of veges in it i am starving!!! So far so good with sticking to the diet changes!!! Finding it a littel tough but nothing i cannot beat!!!! I am going to the body i want and so desire!!!

Chelle

So Excited I got a Comment on my blog!!!!

Well i was so excited to see that Kristin made a comment on my blog!!! Ryan my Financee has been paying me out about no one commenting!!! LOL Well i showed him!!!
Thans Hilary!!!

The rnd of the week has been ok , a little tough on the motivation feeling a little tired and craving a little, but i have been quite good, i have been reminding myself how good i feel when i have eaten well and exercised, last night i had a tiny hiccup i had a piece of bread after dinner with nut paste on it!! But i stopped there and Ryan and i spoke about it and he asked me how i was feeling and what was i thinking it realy helped his concern but not telling not to do it as i would have rebelled!!! but i got through it i know it was not ideal but better than the last couple of weeks.

I felt a little ordinary this morn as Chloe my 16month old woke up a few times last night, but i made myself get up and i did my weights, i had a protein drink first, i must say though i do not think i willl do weights first thing in the morn again as i did not feel very string at all did not have the power and enthusiasm i normaly do, but i did it as that was the time that was going to work best for us for the day as we had visistiors coming and i had a heap of washing and ironing to do, we all went for a walk after i did my weights too, nice and early for ryan on a weekend 7 Am!!! LOL, that is late for me.

Today i have stuck to plan really well and have not felt like slipping up at all, have felt quite hungry though the last few days not sure what that is about!!

I had one of my close girlfriensds come over yesterday and we went through a heap of wedding mags and cut out a heap of dresses etc that i like as my sister and i are going to rocky this sat to have a look!!! Exciting!! Sp am really determined to be good this week to feel good about myself when trying on dresses, not that, that is the only reason to be good, just an extra incentive.

Kristin you have been such an inspiration this week reading your blogs you have helped me so much!!! I hope to meet you one day!!
Also I did ask in the last comment i wrote to you what was the sayong you wrote everyday to inspire you? Maybe its private, just tell me to not ask if it is!! LOL

Anyway we are all off for another walk now, Ryan has got the whip out as he has been on the couch all afternoon now wants to do something!!! Anyway will be good

Looking forward to next week i am going to train HARD and eat to plan!! I want to feel sore and sweat!!!

Chelle

On Track Again

Hi All,

Well i have slowlt gotten back on track again, i have eaten to plan for 2 days now and completed all my exercise that i said I would from the program, it has been a hard slog as my weight is 52kgs and seeing that really disappoints me, but i cannot dwell on it otherwise i will not move on!!! My goodness i have put my body through alot the last couple of weeks nad it finally caught up with me!! Hence the weight gain, but positive thinkin!!! I can get it back!!! The way I am getting through it is i am looking at it as a challenge for myself to get the lean body i had last week back!! Through all of this week the biggest thing i have learnt is that i was doing a great job and my body was really getting lean and it took this bump in the road to realise how good i was doing, so the lesson here is when i do get back to 50kgs i am going to appreciate it and think how good i look and how hard i have worked!!! My goal is 48kgs, but little steps at a time from now on and one day at a time!! Anyway i have gone on enough I am off to give my legs and triceps a big workout!!! I want to feel the burn and to sweat!!! LOL
Talk Later
Chelle

Starting Again

Hi All,

Well it has been ages since i wrote on my blog, just took me ages to work out to post a new message!!!
Well things have been a little all over the place a couple of weeks ago I started my Blitz again due to my beautiful daughter being really sick and it was just too hard to train and do what i needed todo for the orogram. So Sue, Hilary and Kristin gave me a solution and here I am just finished my second week, up until yesterday i was going great guns i felt really lean and strong i had even hit the 49.5kgs mark a couple of times although on Friday i was 50.5kgs, thom is due though.

Well yesterday was my my free meak and Ryan and i planned to go out for my birthday which was on the 22nd for lunch, now i thought i had prepared myself really well i got a menu in advance so i knew what to get and we planned to have cake and coffee at the local coffee shop afterwards, so i thought i had myself all prepared, well today i am telling you something went wrong!!! We had the meal and coffee and cake and i eas feeling satisfied so i thoought, but apparently not i faught with muself all arv to not have anymore, i nearly won i had a couple of lollies and then i went for a walk, then we went home as we were at mums and i gad rice cakes and nut paste and jam for dinner of all things then i had bread, chicken crimpies and chocolate, i stuffed up big time then today i woke up on the wrong side of the bed big time!!! My things have to come soon or i am going to go mental, all i wanted to do was eat and eat, we went for a walk this morn and we had breakfast , i had my pancakes and some extra banana thinking that may cure me, then later on i had my morning tea had extra apple thinking that may help also, but the day spiraled out of control and here i am once again bloated and feeling like total failure!!!!
I read the articles that Hilary anf Kritin have given me but it went in one ear and the other, now i had a binge two weeks ago just before i started the blitz again, and vowed to myself to not let it happen again, but i suppose the only consulaton is that it was not as bad as the other time, but i just feel like awful, i was starting to feel realy lean and get veins on my tummy it seems as though i am sabotaging myself in some way!!

I do know what has caused it again though, thom and my best friends father passing away suddenly from cancer last week, I t brought back all sorts of memories, i cried more at that funeral than dads, as all i was thinking about was my father, how i wish he was still here with us, i need him at times like this to give me ahug and tell it will be ok!!!

But anyway I just have to get back up again and move on and forgive myself it just seems as though i am having to do that alot lately, i feel that is all i am doing, i just wish i could stop myself, i ordered a book Kristin reccomended to me but am still waiting on it, bring on the book i need all the help i can get.

There are times when i just want to give up and throw the towel in, but then i think about how good i feel when ieat well and train hard, nothing feels as good as that!!!!

This is a life long journey that does not cure it self over night i have been struggling with bad eating habits moxt of my like and only been on this journey for about 7 months, and have learnt alot and leaned out alot also i just have to stay poisitive and keep remininding myself why i am doing this.

I jumped on the scales tonight and they were 54kgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH I have not been that gor months and months, so I have put them away for a few days until my peroid comes and the bloat goes away and i have a few days to eat and exercise well, i nearly did my head in over that number.

Anyway i promise to not leave it so long to blog again and next time i will have positive feed back!!!

Chelle

Starting my second 12 week body blitz

Hi All,

Well I have never written on a blog before but here it goes.
My name is Michelle I am 28 years old and I am starting my second 12 week body blitz and I am needing some positive support.
I learnt alot from my first blitz but felt I had alot more that i could achieve so i decided to do another one.

The last couple of days have been like one big roller coaster ride, up and dowm and all over the place, I have been questioning myself as to whether i can do this or not if i will fail, i have been eatng whatever i want the last copule of days and i feel awful, i am thinking that what if the program does not work for me, what if i stay in this state of mind the whole 12 weeks and never achieve what i want!!! I just feel like like I am going to go insane at the moment, i just want to feel good about myself!!!