Nearly Fell off the Wagon

Well what a week!!!! Chloe has not been sleeping well at all!!! Sunday night was awful!!! She woke up so many times, i got up to her 4 times in 45 minutes and mean while Ryan is sound asleep not hearing a thing!!! How frustrating!!! Anyway at about 2am Chloes Cot fell apart well the slats came apart and it made the biggest noise and i still had to jab Ryan to come and help me quickly!!! By this stage i was ready to kill him!!! LOL. Anyway Chloe was so upset she vommented and in the shower we got, by this time i had given Ryan a masiive serve and told him to sleep lighter so he could hear her and that he was getting uo to her from now on!!!! The poor little darlin she was so sick!!! She has got atopic ezchemea ( not sure on spelling) and she is teething also and has a cold. Anyway we got her back to bed, not long after that Ryan was up to her again and then i was up not long after that. This went on till the early hours of the morn 4 or more. She finally went to sleep and Ryan had to get up for work and i was meant to get up for a run but was so exhausted!!! I decided then and there that i was not going to work, i felt so depressed and awful. By the time we got up it was 8.30am and i was just down and out and thought to myself that there was still some slice there left over from yesterday and before i knew i had eaten both pieces bu this stage i was really pannicking and i had to tell myself to stop!!! This is not the answer and it will only make me feel worse!!! So with all my strength and determination i had my normal breakfast and got on with my day!!! It was so hard as i could have just ate and ate cause i jsut felt awful!!! But i also remembered how ill i felt the afternoon before, from my dessert and thought that is not going to help me or Chloe and she is going to need me today!!! So i got on the treadmil when she went to bed, went for a walk in the arv and played touch that night. I know it was nit ideal eating the 2 pieces of slice, but i STOPPED and moved on and have maintained my 49.5kgs this week, i felt totally exhausted all day, but drank heaps of water and kept remnding myself that tomorrow would be abetter day!!!

Anyway Chloe is still not sleeping well and last night was a bit of a strugle again and i ended up having 1/2 an extra fat serve and some extra protein at dinner, hence weight went up to 50kgs, but i have moved on from this and am focusing on the positives. Although it has taken till tonight to get to that point, up until now i have felt quite negative and a little lost!!! I think due to getting a new program as much as i could not wait for it to come it always puts me out of my comfort zone and feel a little off track until i get it all sorted in my head and on paper.
I have yet to e mail Hilary with a few questions but nothing to important just curious more than anything.

i so enjoy doing this ibol stuff it gives me such a purpose!!! And have learnt so much about myself and learnt so much from HIlary and Kristin!!! Anyway I am to have a cuppa before bed and hope to gosh that Chloe sleeps better tonight!!! I am doing my interval training tomorrow morning and am going to hit it hard!!! Also hoping my weight has come back down. Anyway until next time have a great Friday!!!

Chelle


"You can't base your life on other people's expectations."