It Has Been WAY too LONG

Hi everyone,

It has been ages!!! I have been slack!! Well actually i meant to not blog and to not get too caught up in the internet and reading too much, i just wanted to simplify things, well i did that for about 6 weeks and now i know i really do need the support and the outlet of being able to say whatever i feel and not worrying about hurting anyones feelings!!

Well emotionally i do not think i have advanced, no maybe i have, i have come to realise that i am the only one who can take charge of how i feel and what i eat and how i exercise, no matter what program i do, it comes down to how i use it!! And in the past few months that has not been flash!! I am back to 52kgs and feeling every pound of it, i only have 10 weeks till my wedding, but i know i can get to 50kgs before then, i have been sabotaging myself terriably and being so negative!!

Well i am sick of it, i am sick of thinking i can not go out cause i am too big or not as small and lean as i would like to be, i am sick of thinking after this next 6 weeks it will be all ok!!! Well this could go on for years, i am taking a stand and giving myself 10 weeks to really better myself to love myself and to reach my goal of 50kgs and be happy and content when i get there!!! I can not keep going just a bit more and a bit more then i fall off  the wagon and have a big binge!! then back to square one!! Back to 52kgs and this has been going on since october!! I am taking a stand and putting an end to this!!!

I am taking back the control and I am going to beat these demons!! This is no life and it will be wasted on yo yoing and not enjoying life at all!!!!

So anyway i start back with Kristin on monday, i experimented with the final fat phase for a few days, but just am not too sure about it!!!??? You do weights first thing in the morning and i do not seem to like that, but i think it has more to do with my head space!!! I think i need the support from Kristin!!

Anyway this is a new beginning for me and i am going to make it the best 8 weeks ever for trianing and nutrition!!! I will get to my 50kgs for my wedding and look and feel amazing and lean and skinny and toned and defined!!!! I WILL DO THIS!!!!! Bring it on!!!!!!

Chelle